This is real –
Our adventure thus far has just been so beautiful. Every moment so miraculous, every detail so carefully worked out, every moment we have spent in prayer and worship so uplifting and encouraging and faith building. And in between these precious moments – life happens.
Please hear my heart – I truly do not mean to take anything away from the fact this this is such a God ordained and Spirit led move and change. We are rooted in the sureness and certainty of what we have been called to. We are firm in that. And it is beautiful!
As we are preparing and packing and saying goodbye and packing and sight seeing and packing, we are very much aware of the overall miracle! So why would we sweat the small stuff then? Why would we so easily get distracted by the tiiiiiiny specks of dust on this shiny new adventure?
The truth is, this is real. We are real people. With real things that need to be packed into real boxes. With real kids that have real tantrums. With a real marriage and real disagreements. I didn’t know we could have those anymore. I thought that after 12 years of marriage we have pretty much gotten things into a groove of -someone does/says something that wasn’t cool; someone else responded with “that wasn’t cool”; and someone apologized and it’s all good. We got really good at it. Then we decided to move to another city and we became toddlers again. “I think it should be done this way” “Well I really think it should be done THIS way” “Well I think this box is too heavy” “Well I think this box is huge so it is meant to be heavy” “I” “ME” “MINE” “Mamaaaaa”
Really? Really. We are really hard on each other. We are really hard on ourselves. And this move is really hard on us all. It’s not just the glitz and glamour that I so love to write about. It’s not just the smiles and happy tears and excitement. It’s really hard. It’s really hard because behind the blog scenes people actually look us in the face and ask us if we’re crazy? It’s really hard because we have faith that the Lord will provide all our needs but we have actual expenses that far outweighs the amount in our bank account. It’s really hard because I Love my brown eyed husband and I hate to see him under so much pressure. It’s really hard because I know what I have now and I don’t want to lose it. It’s really hard because I know God is calling us for a reason and for that I am willing to lose everything. And that’s really hard.
And we would so love for all of this to be all rosy and sparkly as we leap from one miracle to the next (and I’m not saying that can’t happen). As if we think that would add to the testimony. As if we think it would make it all sound better when we all just adjust fine, and we handle it all fine, and everything falls in our laps fine. But this is hard. It’s hard because it’s real. It’s real because we are real people, saying goodbye to real friends. Staring at real accounts that have real deadlines, that need to be paid with real money. It’s hard because our love for this place is real. Our love for each other is real. And our pain when the one is suffering is real.
I had a very REAL moment today with a very real and very dear friend going through a very real intense time. And she captured it so beautifully. So real. Looking at me with tears streaming down her face just so real about the intensity of the struggle she is facing, and speaking these words “He is the Alpha and the Omega. He is the beginning and the End of all things”. And I remembered how we all face such diverse circumstances. Such a broad spectrum of challenges. And however major or insignificant they may seem to us… One truth remains. He is the Alpha and the Omega…
So tonight I will look at Brown Eyes through the eyes of Mercy. I will hold my tongue. I will tame my tantrums. I will remember my friend, and her tears, and her words, and her heart. I will remember that even though everything I am facing is REAL, I ALWAYS have a choice. I can choose in that moment, in front of that giant, to turn and face my Jesus. To make Him the reality that I choose to subject myself to. To turn to Him for comfort when things are hard. To know that He is real. In this storm, He is real. And when the storm calms, He is real.
Give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! He is the Father who gives tender love. All comfort comes from him. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles. Now we can comfort others when they are in trouble. We ourselves receive comfort from God. 5 We share very much in the sufferings of Christ. So we also share very much in his comfort. 6 If we are having trouble, it is so that you will be comforted and renewed. If we are comforted, it is so that you will be comforted. Then you will be able to put up with the same suffering we have gone through. 7 Our hope for you remains firm. We know that you suffer just as we do. In the same way, God comforts you just as he comforts us.
Yes. The rough road is real. Yes. The tiredness is real. Yes. The drought is real. But. Jesus is real. His comfort is real. And on this journey, He will always bring you (and me) to a real pocket of beauty.